A message in support of those who have never found their cruising altitude

I am 57 years old, but I am still waiting to grow up. To know who I am. To know what I want to be. To work out where I fit in. I remember the first day I went to work, wearing a suit. Sitting on the train with all the serious business people, feeling like I was a child puppeteer inside an adult’s body, operating it with a series of sticks and levers. I still feel that way. I am pretty sure I will feel this way until my last day. I sometimes feel tremendously jealous when I hear someone talk confidently about what time they get up in the morning. What time they go to bed. What kind of pillow they prefer. What they have for breakfast. Whether they are a whisky person, a gin person, a beer person etc. I don’t know the answer to any of those questions for myself. I feel like a variable in a world of constants. Although I think the term impostor syndrome is sometimes useful, it is used to cover such a wide range of conditions, all the way from “I don’t feel quite prepared for this meeting” to “I don’t feel like a member of the human race”. Whenever I hear someone using the term for the lighter side of this spectrum, I feel like saying “Impostor syndrome?… I’ll show you impostor syndrome.” Anyway, I have sort of come to terms with my condition. What Louis CK calls ‘still not knowing my cruising altitude’. I just wanted to write this blogpost on a Saturday morning sending a message of support to anyone who feels the same way. Anyone who doesn’t know their cruising altitude. Let’s still enjoy the journey 😊 #unask #unlearn #unthink