Is our tone of voice the most accidental and undirected weapon in our personal armoury?

I have recently had occasion to both deliver a keynote presentation to a relatively large audience, and to support several others doing the same thing. Some stagecraft is only really useful on stage, and can even be detrimental if applied off stage. But some stuff learned on stage can be helpful in all aspects of life. Tone of voice is an example of the latter. As well as what you say on stage and the body language you use, the less-discussed third leg of the stool is the ‘way that you say things’. Tone of voice. Cadence. Rhythm. Variations of loudness. Etcetera. These non-lexical elements are called paralanguage. Our paralanguage send signals. For example: 1. If I end my sentences in a higher pitched, rising tone, I convey a sense of questioning, seeking together, openness. (This is one of my natural verbal traits, for good and bad.) 2. I can choose to ‘stick the landing hard’ at the end of sentences very firmly, giving a sense of certainty and authority. 3. If I rush through my sentences, even speed up towards the end of sentences, I may give a sense that I am so clever, important and busy, and haven’t really got time to be talking to you about this stuff. 4. I can talk with a slow, measured pace giving a feeling that I am in control, continually checking in with you and summarizing, to convey a strong sense that I want to make sure you are coming with me. 5. I might fail to intonate my pitch much (under-intonate), giving a sense I am bored with the topic. 6. If I over-intonate, and sound too excited in every sentence, it makes my enthusiasm seem inauthentic. Just to give a few examples of famous people on the internet doing these things, I find Ben Shapiro a strong example of #3. Lex Fridman and Sam Harris #5. Tony Robbins a master of using all of these appropriately in his paralinguistic communication palette. I believe that the best speakers (both on and off stage) use these aspects of voice beyond content deliberately to engage their counterparts/ their audiences, and take the effectiveness of the communication to the next level. Most of the rest of us are very accidental, and often unaware, about these aspects. I would also suggest that this is a very learnable skill. Let's all become better paralinguists. It ain’t what you say, it’s the way that you say it. #unask #unthink #unlearn #communication